A Hole in My Heart - Introduction

Dear Reader,

     This book is dedicated to my family, which as all families do, has changed over the years and is ever-changing still.  No one ever drops outB once you=re there, you=re always there.  Of course my parents, husband, son, brother, in-laws, cousins, aunts and uncles are there. And a host of friends who are as close as relatives. But so are you, if I=ve ever met you, or even just sat beside you on an airplane, passed you on the sidewalk, read one of your books or listened to your song.  And even if we=ve never met, or never do, I consider you family, and I wish I could look every one of you in the eye and tell you this one thing. But then, I=m only human, so this the only way I know how to let you know, if you happen to be on the other side of the world.  Here it is, this one thing I know:

GOD LOVES YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!

“For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” –John 3:16 (KJV)

          This is my story, but it’s not really intended to be about me. I write it only to help you write your own story, even though yours will not be the same as mine.  Each chapter concludes with a Scripture and a journal question. Please read the Scripture selections prayerfully before taking all the time you need to answer the questions.  I recommend that you try to complete only one chapter per day, as it is my hope that each one will evoke healing thoughts about your own life.

          Also, please be assured that each one who reads these words has already been lifted up in prayer for at least as much healing as I have received during this process. You must remember, too, that not one of us is ever finished learning and growing as long as we breathe. My journey is certainly not over with this book, but hopefully at its conclusion both of us can say we have made great strides along the way,

     Finally, forever and always, TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

INTRODUCTION: GRACE THAT AMAZES

     I used to think I was somewhere between Adifferent@ and Ajust plain weird.@  I never felt like I really fit in or belonged-- anywhere except sitting in the golden light in the field of dried grass behind our house, or in the soft, fragrant embrace of the pine forest across the road from the lake cottage.  Now I know that makes me just like everybody elseB touched with more grace and mercy than I deserve.

I once believed that I could see things more clearly, feel things more deeply than others.  Even as a child I shed tears over a beautiful sunset or the salty taste of the ocean on my lips.  I knew without a shadow of a doubt God was speaking to me through the elements of His awesome creation. I somehow sensed these were miraculous evidences of His love for us all, just hints of His greatest miracle of eternal life.  In my child-like way I felt that absolutely nothing was Acoincidence,@ but rather all part of an exquisite, perfect plan. 

     Now, of course, I=ve come to realize that this awareness is there for us all, if we just open our eyes.  I=ve also come to understand that I can=t MAKE you see any more than someone else could make me see when I was blinded.  Blinded by the world, my own fleshly desires.  It is, after all, a gift from God, eventually given to all who SEEKB that is the key.

     My deepest longing, now that I have discovered the key, is to share it with EVERYONEB that=s why I=m writing, I suppose.  If I could, I would open your head and your heart and just pour it in, this knowing, but that=s not how it works.  You have to do it for yourself.  Perhaps, though, by reading my story, you might at least want to open the door, look in the mirror, begin to open your eyes, too.

“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.” Psalm 19:1)

READ:  John 1:16

PONDER THIS: Today, try to see God’s grace and mercy wherever you go—in a butterfly, a sunset, a green light when you’re in a hurry, a stranger’s smile. Record your observation, and more importantly, what you felt.
MUSIC TO MEDITATE BY: